Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
