You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
