Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I can't put those talents on a resume
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
