I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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