he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
