my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
