remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
