Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
