Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
P.S. I can't hear my feet
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
