Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
