I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
