everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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