Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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