"it" just moved
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We named our party play list daddy issues
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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