Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
How does one acquire holy water?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
