you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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