there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
