I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
