Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
