There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
