bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I love you.
Bad choice
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
