i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
