what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
