I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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