turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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