I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
