His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
