yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Randomize
