I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
