she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
