the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
