wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
