I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
