I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
