Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
