very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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