I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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