It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
