yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
