don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
