Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
