there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
