Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I have already put on my inside pants.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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