Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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