you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
