Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
