Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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