He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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