he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
