im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
