So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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