If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
