i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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