Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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