Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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